Boys are Gross...

Hey everyone...Brian here.

I'm constantly in aww at the differences between my daughters and my son. For those of you with sons, you probably understand that boys can be...well..gross. I grew up in a family with four boys. My brother used to hold grasshoppers down and poke a pin into their heads to see what happened. In the sixth grade, one of our friends urinated on the heater in the boys bathroom. Man...thats one way to clear the halls at school. It stunk for hours. When Chari was a teacher, she walked out at recess to find one of her students peeing on a tree. When questioned about it, he told Chari that he went camping with his Dad, and dad says its ok to pee outside. I could go on but why do I bring it up??? After all I've seen and heard, my own son continues to add to my list of "that's a first" comments. Sometimes I laugh. Sometimes I just shake my head and wonder how on earth he came up with that. Here's a few more “carterisms” as I have begun to call them. Not all of them are "gross" but you may want to be on your guard if those kinds of things bother you.
1.A few weeks ago, we were at the lake and my mom had her 5th wheel (trailer). However, there was no water in the water tanks and there were no hook ups. So…the toilet would not flush with water. My dad had put a big bucket in the bathroom with water in it, and a pot that you could use to get some water from the bucket and pour down the toilet to complete your "business". Carter had to go to the bathroom. I explained to him that when he flushed the toilet, there would be no water. I showed him the bucket of water, and the pot, and explained that I would help him flush the toilet when he was done going to the bathroom. He went in the bathroom and after 20 seconds or so said “Dad….do I go to the bathroom in the toilet or in the bucket with the water in it?” It's one of those moments when you briefly laugh....and then freeze for a moment wondering if he's asking this question before or after making his decision. Luckily, he had thought about it for those 20 seconds but not acted. No joking from Carter…he was genuinely confused. I educated him again and things ended ok.
2. Whitney pointed out that daddy had something in his eye. I got it out and had it on my finger. About this time Carter enters the scene. Whitney asked "what is that?" I said "it's an eye goober," to which Carter proudly says “ Hey, I eat those!” Then he let us know that he eats his boogers too. These are proud moments in a fathers life.
3. Carter can't stand someone throwing up. If anyone mentions that they don't feel well, Carter will get up and run to his bedroom. Awhile back, Whitney was coughing and gagged herself alittle. Carter asked if she was going to throw-up, and before we could answer he was running to his room. We coaxed him back out. Whitney is only three but for the rest of dinner she would fake a cough or make a gagging noise just to see him panic, ask if she was going to throw up, and begin to leave the table. I was laughing so hard inside. I couldn't believe my three year old would so innocently....innocently...torture Carter. He played right into her hand.
4. Two weeks ago we had Chari's family over with her mom in town. We had cleaned the bathrooms and the house in preparation. By Sunday, I couldn't figure out why our bedroom bathroom stunk so bad. It was embarrasing because family had to use it and I could not figure out why it smelled. After everyone was gone, we went on the hunt. We found it was the small garbage can next to the toilet. For some reason it was soaked inside. I asked Chari if we had poured something into the garbage while cleaning and she said no. I said it smelled like......you guessed it.......urine. So mom's and dad's, whose the first person you would ask? After I washed out the can I went straight to Carter.
"Carter" I said, "Have you ever gone to the bathroom in the garbage can?"
"Once" he said.
"Why?" I asked.
"Well, I had to go to the bathroom so bad I couldn't get the toilet seat up so I just used the garbage."
Don't try to figure it out....I don't want to know the details. After explaining the reasons why we don't do that sort of thing and getting a verbal committment for future behavior, I asked if this was the only time this had happened and he said "yes....except for once in the other bathroom."

I love this boy and am extremely proud of who he is....but he is 100% boy. He's only six!!!! What will he be doing in the sixth grade?!?!