We do it a little differently here...

I've been in Tennessee for a year and 4 months now and I've just come to except things are done alittle different here. Here are a few examples to help you get a glimpse of everyday accepted behavior:

1. Car blinkers don't exist: We've all lived in places where people tend to believe that car signals are optional but this place takes the prize. 3 out of 4 people don't even know they exist. Combine this with the fact that going from the far outside lane into the store parking lot on the right hand side in the blink of an eye seems to be the rule, I'm amazed I haven't put the impala into the body shop a few more times. I've now driven in 20 different states and this is by far the worst place for signals.

2. My boss was out in his yard with his wife and kids. They live in a cul de sac. Some teenage boys came driving onto their street and shot one of their sons with a BB Gun (the Tennessee way of doing it). I'm not advocating this type of behavior at all. I will confess that in my day I threw a few water balloons but was never out to hurt people, but if you are crazy enough to do something like that, be smart enough to shoot on the way out of the cul de sac. Well, my boss stepped out into the street and was now in front of them as they had to turn their car around to drive out. They didn't dare try to drive past him. Why you ask? Because he showed them his hand gun (the Tennessee way of doing it). Why did he have a gun while working in the yard with his wife and kids? Because he had it just in case there was a snake (the Tennessee way of doing it). Is that a common problem? Well, he's unloaded his shotgun on a snake in the yard before. So....his neighbor is a police officer. He held the teenagers while his wife got their neighbor. After these kids were picked up by patrol and were gone, my boss told his police neighbor that he had shown them his gun and threatened them. He asked if he was going to be in trouble. A crime in any other city? Maybe.....but not in Tennessee. The Policeman said to him "Do you remember where you live?" Not even a warning because, that's right...that's the Tennessee way of doing it.

3. One week into the job I had to ask my boss if yelling and swearing at each other was just a cultural thing to the area. I was finding that all of my employee's would just yell and swear at each other all the time, and it seemed to be an accepted practice by the Supervisors and managers. One of the core company values is mutual respect - I just didn't know that's how we defined it out here. I was assured that behavior isn't acceptable, but everyone does it....the Tennessee way of doing it.

4. When we our bought our house, I couldn't believe the condition of our yard. Then I realized it was just that way. We have about 5 different types of weeds, wild grass, clover, etc., etc., etc. Nothing that resembles the nice colorful grass we've had any other place we've lived. In any other house, I would kill it and start over but every house here has it. A guy from TruGreen came by and talked to me about it. He was from Ohio. He said "you have to say goodbye to the nice grass and soil you had in Utah and Iowa. We can't grow that out here." Here's the nice part, since we don't water the grass, our grass has been dead for a month with the extreme heat and nobody cares because every house is the same. I didn't mow for a month...the Tennessee way of doing it.

5. Number 5 is my all time favorite. Simply stated, it's called bless his heart. It's this magical way of changing yourself from a judgemental jerk into an understanding/sympathetic person. Let me explain how it works. You say "That boy is as stupid as they come.....pause....bless his heart". Suddenly, you're a compassionate human being, just by adding on those words. They do it all the time out here. "That's the ugliest kid I've ever seen....bless his heart." "That guy could be his own dad....bless his heart."

I hope when we get to see some of you again in the future, you'll be able to look past all the "I was fixin to" and "ain't gonna's" and all the other lingo we are probably acquiring. If I forget to use my blinker, please understand why. If you find a snake in your yard, don't worry just give us a call because we'll already have our firearms ready. I'll be sure to bring some local weeds for the grass and If we insult you but say "bless your heart" afterwards, you'll understand that we're not jerks by nature, we're compassionate human beings because hey...that's just the Tennessee way of doing it.

Brian